Mend Your Diet

should i feel guilty?

I am on the verge on leaving my boyfriend. Its not so much him but its our living arrangement. It is us my 3yr old and 3 big dogs that are not house broken. They are constantly going to the bathroom in the house and I have told him i refuse to clean up after his mutts! He wanted all these animals in this house he needs to clean up after them. He considers cleaning up throwing a towel over it and picking it up a week later. We have had to rip up all the carpet in the living room and hallway because the puppy he bought me could not stop going to the br on the carpet. I wanted to crate train her but no he didnt want to leave her in a cage all day. So therefore everyday is a new adventure to see what kind of mess she ahs made, emptying the water dish all over the floor or his other dog knocking over the food dish all over the floor. He is so lazy! We have to walk around with shoes on 24/7 because of the dogs. One pees everytime she lays down just about, one has her spot in the kitchen and the other goes right in front of the kitchen. Its not just that. We just dont see eye to eye on the kids. I am more laid back when it comes to the kids, well mine anyway. he is 3 he is going to play and crash his cars and just be a boy. Not while he is around. I dont know, maybe its just me but I just want more out of life! I am constantly broke cant even afford to go to the grocery half the time! I am overweight because i cant afford to buy the foods i like to lose weight to eat right. I had to file bankruptcy 3 months after moving in with him. Here it is 3 yrs later and I am still not happy! I love him but I want more for my son and myself. I want to be able to provide for my son and have money to do for me sometime. Is that being selfish? Now that I am seriouly thinking of leaving I feel guilty. Why should I feel guilty for wanting to be happy? I am scared to death to even say anything to him about it. I dont know how he will react. He will blame it on me like everything else. I am no angel by any means but I am not a horrible person like he makes me out to be. Every problem we have ever had is my fault! I have health problems I need to get to the dr about and cannot afford it. I think I have endometreosis. I have constant pain in my lower back in in my lower abdomen which I know are symptoms. Took 2 yrs to get preg lost that pregnancy after a month. Every woman in my family has had it and had full historectomies ( however u spell it) by the age of 30. I am 27. If there is something wrong with me I need to know before my chances of having another baby is gone! In his defense I will say he has changed somewhat he is doing things he wasnt doing before, but its like its 3 yrs too late. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Should I feel guilty for wanting to leave to make a better life for me and my son? Thank you to who ever reads this whole thing and responds. Just dont know what to do. _________________ BTW - He always told me I would be gone before the dogs would be! I have a place to go. My parents have said we can come live w/ them! I am so blessed to have them!!!!

Public Comments

1. i feel your pain....only i have stayed for 21 yrs...the dogs have to go period!!!!!!!!!!! although if you decide leaving is the right thing to do then he can keep his dogs! no you are not being selfish but i think you probably should be .there is nothing wrong with wanting to do better for yourself and your child. ultimately you are the only one who can decide to stay in an unhealthy unhappy relationship or go out in the world and see if you can find yourself some happiness. good luck to you honey
2. should YOU feel guilty ??????????????? heck no you got it backwards girl. hey, normal people don't live this way. get out as soon as you can. arrange a SAFE place you can go asap. it is not normal to have someone leave dog poop all over the place. you have a 3 year old. apparently his guy does not care about the kid. wake up. get out. call a womens shelter or find a relative or co-worker to help you. life is better than that. goodluck